Troubleshooting Common Potty Problems - Part 5 of a 5-part guide to toilet training your children.

It would be lovely if one day we decided that we wanted our children toilet trained and, poof, it happened. Unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way. Children often hit snags during the toilet training process. Below are some of the most common issues and how to handle them:

• Resistance It is not uncommon for children to resist using the toilet. Sometimes it is a sign that they are not ready for the lifestyle adjustment that is toilet training. In this case, you can help your child become more comfortable with the idea by talking about it, using toys to play-act restroom situations, or incorporating books about the toilet into the bedtime story rotation. Children also use resistance as a means of expressing defiance. If a child feels that he has no control over his daily life and views toileting as something he is being forced into, he may purposely have accidents or refuse to use the toilet. In this case, provide other opportunities during the day for him to make choices. Offer a selection of two or three items for things like breakfast cereal or snacks, bedtime stories, and games to play. Once he feels that he has more control in his world, he should begin to use the toilet on his own.

• Fear of the toilet Many children are afraid that they will be sucked into the toilet, especially with those public toilets that flush automatically (be honest, those things startle you, too). You can help your child get over this fear by allowing him to flush toilet paper and watch it disappear. Holding his hand over the bowl so he can see that, while the paper disappears, his hand remains in the same place may also help.

• Refusing to have bowel movements Often children view bowel movements as something that belongs to them or is a part of them and therefore have a difficult time seeing it flushed away. Explain that these are waste products and the body needs to get rid of them. Another reason your child may avoid having bowel movements is because a previous experience was painful. Hard stools can tear the delicate tissue around the anus and cause pain. In order to prevent this situation, make sure your child is properly hydrated and try feeding her foods that naturally stimulate bowel motions (prunes, pears, apricots, etc).

• Playing with feces Oh, the curiosity of youth. Explain that feces (and urine) are not something we play with. If you see your child about to engage in such activities, block and redirect to appropriate behaviors.

• Only going with a particular person Children are creatures of habit. If they have only ever used the toilet with mom, they may balk at being taken by grandma. You can help them adjust and be more independent by gradually removing yourself from the situation. Help your child undress or walk her to the restroom, then wait outside until she is finished. Then have other people walk her to the restroom on occasion. She will eventually get used to it.

• Urinating or having bowel movements immediately after getting off the toilet This is very common in the beginning stages of toilet training. It takes time and practice to learn to consciously control the muscles that contract the bowels and bladder and allow for excretion.

• Urinating while sleeping Encourage using the toilet immediately before going to bed and upon waking. Tell your child that he can either go to the restroom alone or call for you to help him if he wakes in the middle of the night and needs to use the toilet.

• Regression Stress due to recent changes (moving, a new sibling, starting school, illness, etc) can cause developmental regressions. As your child adjusts to the change they will regain their toileting skills. Be patient and remember to praise success.

Happy toilet training!