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Tangible Difference Company Blog

Written by Michael Conteh Monday, 17 August 2009 00:00

red_largeBlog 10-07-2009: Eat Your Heart Out

Eating in a restaurant.

Hey, It's a miracle...I kept my promise and delivered another blog on time! Anyway, we're looking to get a comment section going in the near future, so we'll see if we can pull that off. This is another blog from Alexis Lima, who is probably cold and wet as we speak while overseas in school.

A couple years ago my grandfather turned 80. To celebrate his birthday, my mom's siblings and their families took my grandfather to dinner at his favorite restaurant. During the meal, my aunt's son, who was 5 at the time, began to throw his food. My aunt and uncle proceeded to catch it, as if they were trained seals. I contemplated tossing them a fish as a reward. Last year, my grandmother celebrated her 80th birthday. This time my aunt and uncle arrived without their son. When my grandmother asked where he was, my aunt said he was at home with his two babysitters. I looked at my aunt and said, "Two babysitters for one seven year old? Is that in case he locks one in the bathroom or something?" My aunt replied, "No...well [nervous giggle], sort of." At this point, my uncle chimed in, saying, "He doesn't behave in restaurants and you just can't tell him what to do." Aside from the fact that he speaks of himself in the third person (which is just plain weird), there is nothing wrong with my cousin and no reason that he cannot learn how to behave in a restaurant. But if he is never exposed to the situation, he will never have the opportunity to acquire those skills.

Eating in a restaurant can be difficult for children. There is a lot of waiting involved (to order, for the food to arrive, for everyone else to finish), you are confined to your seat, and you are expected to keep your voice down...it is a skill that asks a lot of a child's patience and self control. Here are some tips to help build those skills and make eating out a more positive experience for your family:

  • Pretend Use play time as an opportunity to practice. Have tea parties with your child and their stuffed animals and take turns being the waiter and the customer. Use dolls or action figures to act out a restaurant scene. Talk about restaurant etiquette as you watch characters in a movie eat out.
  • Have family meals With our hectic schedules, it can be difficult to sit down and eat as a family, but try to eat one meal together each day. Get everyone involved in the process of preparing the food, setting the table, and cleaning up afterwards. In addition to being great family time, this gives your child an opportunity to practice good table manners. (Note: If your child is not used to sitting at the table and/or waiting for others to finish before being excused, gradually increase the amount of time you require them to wait. For example, begin by allowing the child to play with a toy at or next to the table - no leaving the room - as soon as they have finished eating. The next week, they must wait 5 minutes after they have finished eating to play with the toy. The following week the toy will not be available until 8-10 minutes after they have finished. Build up the delay until your child is able to wait for everyone to finish before they are excused.)
  • Start small When you begin to introduce eating in a restaurant, it is best to start with locations that get you in and out with minimal fuss and wait time. Delis and cafes are great places to start. You order and pay at once, so there is no waiting for the check once you have finished eating, and your food gets to you quickly.
  • Enjoy some fresh air If the restaurant offers patio seating, you may want to take advantage of that. The atmosphere is a bit less formal and usually less crowded.
  • Be prepared When you plan to eat somewhere that may require a longer wait, bring along some toys to keep your child entertained. Toys like mini Magna Doodles, coloring/activity books, and hand held games such as Leapster or Nintendo DS are great.
  • RewardHave a system in place to reward your child for behaving appropriately in the restaurant. Make sure your child understands your expectations and what they need to do in order to get the reward. Use that reinforcer only when your child eats at a restaurant to make it extra special.
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