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Written by Michael Conteh Monday, 17 August 2009 00:00

red_largeBlog 09-23-2009: Road Rage

How to manage while in the car.

Quick Note - I will be blogging every two weeks on Wednesday so you know when the new blogs will hit. This one is from Alexis who is now overseas going to school. Don't forget to attend the Cure Autism Walk on October 24th!

Road Rage: By Alexis Lima

I hate Houston drivers. They are some of the worst drivers I have ever encountered (and I have seen some really bad driving while living in and traveling across the U.S., Europe, and North Africa). A typical Houston commute is stressful enough. A child in the back seat throwing a tantrum makes it so much worse. In addition to being stressed from traffic and other drivers, now your attention is divided and that distraction poses a safety hazard.

Every child will, at some point, have a tantrum in the car. Sometimes it is due to hunger, fatigue, or a soiled diaper. Other times it is in retaliation because they were removed from a preferred activity, denied access to a requested item, or just plain annoyed with being in the car. Whatever the reason, these tantrums are no fun for the driving parent.

Here are some things you can try to help manage the road rage:

  • Talk to your child about driving. Explain to them that driving is a means of getting from one place to another and that you need all of your attention on the road to make sure that you arrive safely at your destination.
  • Set rules for car trips. Some ideas: you must stay seated with your seat belt fastened at all times, we do not yell and scream in the car, if we drop our snack/juice/toy we have to wait until mom or dad stops the car to ask them to pick it up, etc. Talk about the rules before you get into the car and, if your child can read, have them posted in the car at your child's eye level.
  • When a tantrum occurs, ignore it for the first few minutes. Turn up the radio and sing along, if you need help drowning out the crying and screaming.
  • If the tantrum does not subside after a few minutes, find a safe place to pull over (the shoulder of the freeway qualifies only in extreme emergencies). Stop the car and wait until the tantrum subsides. You can do a few different things at this point, depending on your situation and frustration level: 1) Sit patiently in the car with your child until he/she calms down. 2) Crack a couple of windows (so you can hear your child and so he/she does not suffocate in the Houston heat) and then get out of the car. Stand where you can still see and hear your child, but do not look at him/her. 3) Both you and your child get out of the car and sit next to it until your child calms down. In all cases, when your child begins to behave appropriately, resume driving to your destination.
  • If your child has figured out how to undo the seat belt, you have another concern: your child getting free and flailing around the car. In this case, pull over as soon as it is safe, strap them back in, and wait for appropriate behavior.
  • Have a reward system in place to encourage your child to sit properly in the car. Perhaps they can pick out a preferred snack at the grocery store if they sit nicely on the drive there. Or they can play on the computer for a predetermined amount of time if they behave on the drive home from Grandma's house. Negotiate the reward before you get in the car and tell your child that in order to obtain the reward, he/she needs to follow the car rules during the trip.

Like any behavior intervention plan, it may take a few trials to see results, but the tantrums should begin to reduce and then disappear. As far as the "are we there yet?" queries that come once your child is past the tantrum stage, you're on your own...

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