Tangible Difference Company Blog
Written by Michael Conteh Tuesday, 07 July 2009 00:00
Blog 07-07-2009: Drama Kings & Queens
Attention-maintained behavior.
Drama Queens and Drama Kings
Don’t you hate it when that drama king/queen friend calls to talk about how her bad nail salon experience will end in world destruction? I’m sitting here trying to write the next installment of this blog and I get one of these calls. Why talk to me about this over blown drama? Do you think I care that you can't get to the sale at Old Navy? I swear, I could put the phone down and she would keep talking.
Fake Crying Baby - Now that's attention-maintained behavior!
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Attention-maintained behavior is common in human interaction, including our special needs children. While not as annoying as the drama king/queen, attention-maintained behavior, if left unchecked, can have serious consequences. The main issue is that ALL humans crave attention, but if our kids do not have the necessary skills to communicate that, then they will use alternative, and sometimes inappropriate, measures to attract that attention. These include crying, screaming, destruction of property, self-injurious behavior, and many more.
Most of you know the general rule of dealing with attention maintained behavior: IGNORE! If you can ignore it, this is the first thing to try. Unfortunately, it does not always work. In truth, putting behavior on EXTINCTION is one of the most powerful tools we have, but we won’t discuss it in this blog. Instead, I want to cover other ways to deal with attention maintained behavior and discuss why this behavior still persists despite your attempts to ignore it.
Reinforce appropriate attempts to get attention
If your child gets your attention by reaching in the fish tank instead of sitting quietly, then which behavior will they continue to do? Shower them with attention when they’re being good, not when they are bad. Just because you’re mad or they’re being reprimanded doesn’t mean they are not being reinforced for attention. Teenagers do this all the time, and negative attention is better than no attention at all.
Show them how to get attention appropriately
Once they start engaging in attention-maintained behavior, set up a contingency so that they MUST accomplish something appropriate before they can get attention. This way, you have some measure of control over how they get your attention. For example: if you want my help, clean up first and then ask me to play.
Be a killjoy
This is my personal favorite!! You know that office friend that keeps telling the dirty/lame jokes, and you do that pretend laugh and quickly turn away, which creates a weird silence? Sometimes you have to attend to behavior, but how you deal with it can minimize the unwanted effects. Most people do things for a reaction, so go ahead and give them a very boring reaction. If your child knocks over a glass of milk for attention, you can either:
- Scream, yell, cry, and clean it up all by yourself, while they watch. (Exciting!)
- Tell them to clean it up in a calm voice, and after it’s done, walk away from them. (Rather boring, no?)
Use a flat affect when speaking to them and stay calm when dealing with attention-maintained behavior. Be careful that your face is not betraying your true emotions – do not let your frustration show! You may have an extinction burst, but follow through with the task, and behavior is more likely to reduce.
It’s amazing, I have just started to touch on the topic of attention-maintained behavior and my blog space is almost up. I will have to do a series on this sometime in the coming months. I got a good response from you guys for the first blog, but I am still looking for suggestions to make this the most helpful blog for you, so send in your ideas!
Oh BOY! I almost forgot about the girl on the phone. I can’t believe that she still is talking - what is the call block number again?
