Tangible Difference Company Blog

Written by Michael Conteh Wednesday, 18 November 2009 06:40

11-18-09 Blog Thanks and "Now that's comedy" remix

This is the last blog before Thanksgiving, I want to say thank you to all the people who help make this blog and company possible.

First and foremost I would like to thank Darren at invectra studios for building a FANTASTIC site and giving me the opportunity to blog every two weeks. If you want to build a great website check out his web page http://www.invectrastudios.com/.

Second, I want to thank my staff for caring so much about the kids and working as hard as they can to help kids improve. I couldn't do it without you guys.

Third, I want to thank all the parents that work and fight hard every day for their special needs child. I know it's hard to walk around with a superhero suit, but you guys do it with passion and grace. You guys rock!

Ok, I have done enough blogs that my first one has been swept under the rug. This one is one of my favorites and gives perspective on community outings. I got news for you....Your kids are built to embarrass you. You will have problems from time to time, but consistency is the key and here's some good advice plus a little laugh.

Now THAT'S comedy!

Community outings can be a stressful time for families. Should I expose my child to as many environments as possible? What happens if he/she has a tantrum in public? You know, looking back, some of my WORST community outing experiences are now some of my funniest stories. Two stick out in my head:

Experience Number 1 -

I had a child try to run away from me at the Taipei airport. I was fast on his trail, but he ran past two armed guards. The look on their faces was priceless...of course, so was the look on mine, since I thought there was no way I could possibly explain this in Mandarin!

Experience Number 2 -

While walking with a child in the mall, the child hit a man that was walking towards us right in the package. I didn't have the heart to turn around as I heard "WTF!" I bet that guy remembers that day forever.

Let me explain WHY...

I tell those stories to let you know that it happens to all of us. If we're not being embarrassed by our kids from time to time, then we're not pushing them enough - that, or your child will be nominated for Sainthood soon. I'm talking about all kids too, not just kids with special needs. Our center is within walking distance from a Walmart, and after a rough day at work, that place just cheers me up. Walk into any Walmart and tell me what "typical" behavior is. I see kids running, screaming, eating food, and terrorizing me when I go by in my cart.

I used to work in a residential facility, where I and another staff member would take 5 kids on the spectrum out at once. A couple of the kids were pretty severe, so we both became good at community outings. Here are some baseball themed tips:

• Most of the work begins before you ever leave for the ballpark- Have a game plan for what you want to accomplish during your outing. Are you looking to increase the duration of the outing? Work on keeping hands quiet? These goals are the ones you want to reinforce HEAVILY. Also, have more than one type of reinforcer present. Make sure that they are strong and work in a public setting.
• Know your clubhouse- Know the outlay of the place, and hopefully a person or two who works there. If you already know that you may potentially have to carry your child out screaming, let the security guard or manager on duty know beforehand. Know where the problems areas lie (the candy/toy aisle), and be prepared to either avoid them, or have your own reinforcers ready. Also, I wouldn't suggest starting in a place that is BORING to the child! I hated when my mom used to take me clothes shopping; I used to pull the hangers off the rack so that she would get mad and leave the store early to spank me when we got home. To this day it was so worth it!
• Singles please - No home runs on your first swing. If your main goal is community outings, then start small, and in the most controlled environment you can find that's public. I always started a child off at his nearby convenience store, where the staff became familiar with him and you could get in and out quickly. If they are older, you can work on the process of having him/her pick out one thing, have them pay, and have them say "thank you" when they leave. From there, I move on to bigger places where I have less and less control.
• You will strike out- Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. Yes, you may have to walk a screaming child out, yes he/she may bite into three apples before you can get to him/her, and yes, you will feel a little embarrassed. One of the most important things to remember is that other people will act in accordance with how you react to the situation. If you freak out, then people around you will freak out. This goes a long way when it comes to helping calm everyone down. Kids have a keen sense of when you're nervous, so keep your nerves in check.
• Practice makes perfect - The more positive exposure a child gets, the better likelihood the child will do better next time. If you get two negative experiences in a row, then change things up a little. We as adults learn from our experiences both good and bad - so do our kids.

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